Like most on the planet I
have a number of New Year resolutions.
One of them is to devote a little bit of time every day to reading
something inspirational. My goal is to
reawaken, refocus my spiritual and philosophical life. I found this incredibly natural and easy in Tuscany , living as I was amongst splendidly beautiful
scenery, but in cement laden London
I’ve decided, too, that on
days when I can’t put my hands easily on something suitably reflective, I will
create ten minutes of quiet, ten minutes of stillness to empty out the yucky
stuff and fill up with good stuff. In not
so many words a loved teacher, Sr Beverly Zimmerman, gave me this advice a
squillion years ago, but I didn’t understand its importance. Yet the older I get, and having experienced
in Italy
Of course it’s not rocket science,
Buddhists give a tremendous example of peace through meditation. Anyone with a prayer-life will tell you the
prerequisite for feeling the presence of God (or sensing the universe’s greater
powers if that’s more your persuasion) is to be still. Yet for a ‘doer’ and ‘talker’ such as myself,
days or weeks can pass before I realise I’ve been constantly on the move. The rhythmic repetition of jogging, singing
or playing piano helps – it also provides good endorphins - but spiritually it
isn’t enough because it isn’t conscious stillness.
With this in mind the first
days of January brought me to reflections such as these:
“Your mind is a garden. Your
thoughts are the seeds. You can grow
flowers or you can grow weeds.”
Pop-psychology or spiritual wisdom
the message is the same:
“We need to be transformed
by the renewal of our minds because this impacts the way we think and speak”.
This writer went on to
say “may our thinking and speech become an instrument in the Lord’s hands…”. I rather like the suggestion of a divine conductor
- the idea we can be steered in subtle ways to that which is better for us and
those around us – if that is, we hand over the baton. Yet those with a more independent spirituality
tend to think the correlation is direct - positive thoughts inevitably attracting
positive actions and good karma. Both
work for me.
I am determined, anyway, to
make 2013 a good year. So for times when
events threaten to throw me off course, I particularly like this passage:
“Refuse to be downcast. Refuse to be checked in your upward climb.”
I like it so much I might
print it out and stick it on the fridge!
Unlike phrases such as “live
and let live” or “don’t rain on my parade”… ok in themselves but limited… the
concept “refuse to be downcast” empowers!
It challenges us to bring ourselves to a state of mind where
provocations can’t tempt us to fall into negativity or despondency. I’m susceptible to a ‘call to action’ so that
probably explains why I like it, but whatever means by which we can feel empowered
and peaceful is, I think, valid.
My readings include work
from poets and philosophers, but this week they are so consistently bringing me
back to God I can only embrace it. Another
quote I’ve pondered upon is “Cast thy burden upon Me and I will sustain
thee”. Easier said than done, I
admit, but genuinely comforting when we can believe it. And this was followed by a challenge to the
reader with: “How many burdens can you lighten this year? How many hearts can you cheer?”
That pulled me up. For the
deal is He’ll give comfort but you must spread it around.
Then I saw in the Guardian
an article about a woman who tried every day for a year to do a good deed. Immediately it struck a chord. I felt I was meant to read it; not
least because I’ve thought a lot about the difference in the atmosphere in London Lynne McGranger (who happens to be best known as
Irene in Home and Away) described the
ebullient atmosphere of Sydney London
So every time I heard the
media talk about “lasting legacies from London 2012” I wanted to write to Mayor
Boris to say: how about introducing a Be
Kind Day… a day in the calendar where everyone goes out of their way to be friendly
and nice… where we find conscious ways to do something extra or helpful for
someone else. Perhaps it should be a
spontaneous act of kindness to a stranger?
Or a planned, intentional thing that benefits someone we know? Perhaps it needs to be a week of kindness, to
give us all an opportunity to get over the line? But you get the point.
I know it’s only the 6th
January, so no prizes, but with inspiration from Judith O'Reilly and
these new year reflections, I’ve been experimenting. Each day as I walk down the street I look
around to see if anyone needs help.
Two days ago I found an upper-middle-aged lady in the supermarket leaning
strangely onto the dairy counter and madly coughing. For a moment I was utterly grossed out by the
fact that she wasn’t covering her mouth with her hand… yyyyeeewwww… thank God
cheese is wrapped or there’d be an epidemic…
but after fighting the instinct to walk away, I turned back to ask if
she was ok. It turned out she has
chronic back-pain which all kinds of treatment have not improved, and a spasm
had taken hold of her so she looked for the closest thing to lean on. Immediately I thought of a friend in north-east
London
Later when I was waiting in
line at the check-out, the same lady appeared behind me. We chatted for a while and she told me various
things about her condition. It was clear
she sought to lighten her load, as women in particular do, simply by sharing
it; by feeling a little acknowledged and validated. And I was reminded how isolating illness can
be for people, physical or mental.
Also isolating, and
intensely sharp, is grief and heart-break.
Loss can cripple a person, the intense stress of it rendering them
incapable of fresh responses or objectivity.
Every one of us deserves empathy and support when we are in the grip of
it but, more often than we’ll ever know, millions stagger on without sufficient
support, barely making it through, carrying heavy scars, and, sometimes,
permanently losing functionality, hope and whole-heartedness. It isn’t incompatible to acknowledge the pain
in the world while still seeing ‘the glass half full’. The Sisters of Charity I visited on Christmas
Day know this from the tips of their toes to the tops of their heads, God Bless
‘em. Nurturing and caring for the
addicted and homeless, they are living examples that Hope is the beginning and
end of life… that Hope is intrinsic to Love.
So as 2013 kicks off, I want
to thank all the people who have been kind to me when they might not have
needed to be. I want to thank all the
people who scooped me up in a good deed or a loving act. I want to thank many for their generosity and
friendship. I want to forgive (or at
least begin to forgive) the people who have hurt me deliberately or
negligently. And, one day at a time, I want
to strive to be that little bit better, kinder, happier, and more peaceful this
year than I was last year.
After all, with or without a
Be Kind Day, isn’t that what all of
us want?
RECOMMENDATIONS:
2) A Year
of Doing Good by
Judith O’Reilly is published by Viking Penguin
http://www.penguin.co.uk/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780670921133,00.html
